CARLSBAD, CALIF. – Citing ongoing pressure and looming threats from area golfers, Callaway Golf announced today the launch of Pumpkin Spice Chrome Soft Truvis golf balls.
The latest ball offering has all the outstanding performance benefits of Chrome Soft, with the added bonus of traditional pumpkin spice-themed hues, which will make it nearly impossible to locate during autumn rounds.
“The more we thought about it, the more of a no-brainer it became,” said Jason Finley, Global Director of Product Strategy for Golf Ball, who is forecasting a record number of units for #PSCS. “Anyone who says consumers don’t dictate the market has obviously never enjoyed a Pumpkin Spice Twinkie.”
The meteoric demand caused a halt in production of all other Chrome Soft products at the company’s Chicopee, Mass. ball facility to make room for the latest revelation. “I tested one the other day and it looks amazing at address, almost mesmerizing,” said Golf Ball Engineer Maeve Moylan, who spent months examining different pumpkin spice color palettes. “There’s something so satisfying about pumpkin spice. I would just advise golfers to hit as many fairways as possible. They become, how do I put this truthfully, pretty invisible in the fall rough.”
Word of Pumpkin Spice Truvis has sent Wall Street into a frenzy, with brokers clamoring for ELY stock. “We haven’t seen action like this since Apple launched the iPhone,” said one highly-respected analyst. “And we don’t expect it to calm down anytime soon either. I mean, I have my 17-year-old daughter hounding me to play now. Her and her friends have already pre-ordered 10 dozen.”
At press time, Finley was seen moseying around the Callaway office urging all employees to sign a petition to get the Leaf Rule implemented into the actual Rules of Golf.
*DISCLAIMER: Chrome Soft Pumpkin Spice Golf Balls Won’t Actually Be Produced.